STILL HERE!

WOW. so life has been life. things have been good. all went smooth with custody issue. Went on the youth camp thing... AWESOME! i am actually getting to start a like going deeper bible study with the youth that would like to.. im so excited!!! ok. but the John sitch got weird. we were hangin out one night and then not sure exactly how things got to this point... but john was giving me a massage (my neck is always jacked up) and then started kissing my neck. it turned into rather a make out session before i really knew what was happening. it was REALLY WEIRD. like i said John had kind of become like a brother. it was strange. long story kinda short.. im kinda taking a step back with him. i feel like God is telling me to shut that door. I had never thought it would ever be more than a a GREAT friendship. i never thought he was the least bit attracted to me. I dunno well anyway. It is kinda sad. i feel like i lost a good friend.. but i guess its better it happened now instead of later when it would have been an even bigger issue. I am trusting God is closing that door because he is opening a better one. but yeah.... weird.. like REALLY REALLY weird. I will totally miss that friendship. there is no one else i can text 24 hours a day with random scriptual reference or bible questions or random thoughts like i did with him.. well at least not yet. Ive noticed God usually gets me alone with him before he does something big though.. so im waiting to see... im hoping for a husband. >;^J*)