SWELL

Well! Everything is being super swell. SUPER! So yeah. I was totally struggling with the whole trying to avoid the bad relationship thing. But God has just really helped me change my mind set. THANK GOD FOR JOHN! I totally just cried on the phone to him for ever the other night and i feel a lot better. I keep dealing with being tempted to go out with people who are no good for me because im lonely. But John called me on it. The truth is i am going to keep being tested until i pass. That means not letting myself be shaken. I havent even gone out with any of the temptations for like a few weeks... but it is that desire to that bothers me. Because its like i can feel the war between my flesh and my spirit. It throws me off kilter. But i know that thats why God sent John to me. A lot of this is because i miss my son. That makes me feel like really lonely. So God sent me like a super swell like ultimate Big Brother. ITS TOTALLY COOL! I never had a big brother. I love having big sisters... but none of my family is in Vegas any more. So its kinda like God is building a family for me here. He gave me John.... which is cool because hes around a lot. And he put me back in touch with My Walter Hoving home Big sister, and has given me some super cool work friends, and some really cool other friends from my group. But Satan put a few people in my path to try and give me the poisoned version of what God is building for me. Well i did fall into it at first, but God has been so awesome with helping me out of it. I just have to keep my eyes fixed on him. Its easy to be shaken sometimes. Especially when i start focusing to much on the earthly perspective. I know that things will be different once Zeh'en is back. OH YEAH! I'M TOTALLY GOING TO GIVE HIM A MIDDLE NAME!!! im so excited. Its like the best middle name ever!!!! His name will be Zeh'en Josiah Lee. SUPER!! Josiah is so awesome! he is in 2 kings. He is the King of Judah who destroyed all of the foreign Gods and high places and tore his robes when the book of the Law was found. It is said that no king before or since has turned so whole heartedly to the Lord. So i mentioned to John that i probably would have named him that if i had been where i am now. and he pointed out that Zeh'en doesnt have a middle name... so why not give him one! im totally JAZZED bout it. well i guess that is all for now! WOO HOO!!!!!!

CRIMENY!

Yeah. Crimeny is totally becoming my catch phrase. SO ANYWAY! i still dont have Zeh'en back... but things are getting there. I just started my new job. ITS AWESOME! Its like super low key. And i am getting my daily quota of hugs and stuff. Well anyhoo. Im just feeling super thankful this morning. Theres been some issues for me i guess. See my super swell friend John...is well... SWELL! I think God brought him in my life for lots of reasons. One of which is too keep me out of bad relationships. The way John treats me is totally a pattern for the way i should be treated by a guy. BUT Satan has been hurling everything he's got at me... and been trying to make me afraid of losing John. I guess its kinda weird. i dont know how to explain that. BUT God has been really workin in my heart and im giving it all back to him. I refuse to believe what Satan is saying and i am going to stand on the promise that God is in control. If God takes someone out of my life... I trust his choice to do so. If God brings someone in my life.. i trust him. If God makes me have to leave Vegas.. i trust him still. I AM REFUSING TO BE SHAKEN. I guess its like that old audio adrenaline song... "you can take my life my love, my liberty, lock me up... ILL STILL BE FREE! CUZ YOU CAN'T TAKE GOD FROM ME!" My hope is in the lord... my expectation comes from him. I need to stop focusing on WHAT God is blessing me with and start focusing my heart on the one who is blessing me. CRIMENY! I gotta go to work.. BUT IM SUPER EXCITED! THANK YOU JESUS!!!!