Time to move!

So yeah. Not much of a blogger so let me nutshell the update. God is so awesome and just totally shut the John door God style. I kinda stopped responding to texts and next thing I know John moved away! Dude. its so awesome. talk about opening what no one can shut and shutting what no one can open! Things have been pretty cool. Gloria moved away. That was super lame, but now I'm moving away...poor Margot. =( i hope some where in Sacto i find friends like them. I am excited to be near my family. I am looking forward to building a friendship with my sister. I mean we obviously have had a relationship all our lives, but we have never really had much chance to build a Christ centered friendship on this side of my addiction. I am gonna be super bummed to leave Calvary Community. I think it will always be my church home. No matter how much I love my next church there is just something so special about all that has happened there in my life. I am so glad for this past season. I learned a lot. I guess it is time to get on the the next lessons. Speaking of such..Todd called. I haven't talked to him in a while. Kinda was avoiding him. After the history with him..I just didn't want to open that door. I had a few dreams about him.. like.. the phropheticish type. Where he was like surrounded by demons and God was showing me so that I would know to pray. so anyway i actually answered yesterday. He sounds different. I guess he would be. a year in recovery changes you a lot. Iknow when I was a year clean i was a complete catastrophe. 2 years.. not so much.. still a litte spazzy but not near as much. this month is his 2 year mark. I don't think I will ever be attracted to him again..but it's always good to try to leave things in peace. He asked me to dinner...that is a bit to umm...date for me. He would like me to go to church with him on sat night at shadow hills. Im thinking about it. I don't want to send him the wrong message. I don't know. The desire for a husband has left the building for now. I guess i feel like i have so many other things to focus on. I think the real reason I ever really wanted that was just like the whole john sitch.. it all comes down to i want a bible buddy...a single one. I have had Margot and Gloria.. but because they have families we never are able to spend time together except at work. The cool thing is my mom and my relationship is healing to the point I think she will probably fill that role for the next season and hopefully my sister too. I have a feeling I might be entering a season that involves casual dating as well, which is kinda weird. But i feel like God is trying to show me that the fact that I have never had any healthy experience with dating is part of my whole social panic disorder and needs to be faced...not hidden from. But it's weird thinking about dating with no desire for relationship..but I guess maybe thats the safest way to learn? Well anyway. I guess thats the low down for the time being. =)