GODS DOIN SOMETHIN!!!!

Yeah so there is no doubt that God is ALWAYS doing something.. but hes workin in my life hard core right now. IM SO EXCITED!!! I finally got the call from the preschool!!! i have my job interveiw tomarrow!!! HUZZAH! And today John came over and we got my garage all clean! I really feel like God is preparing me to be able to stay and make things work!!! Ok lemme back track a few days. So i went to Todds for Christmas. I caught a cold. LAME! then on saturday i was workin feelin ok but pretty sick. Then i went to the service and then to the bible study after. I had Got John some super cool christmas presents. mostly they were books of mine i knew hed like. On the bible and Jewish book of why. But i got him a little magnifying thing to read with because he has really poor eyesight... and im forever giving him books and texting him bible verses to read and stuff and i know he has a hard time trying to read it all. So i called and asked if i could drop it off. I went over there and we hung out while he opened his presents and stuff. I was all feeling guilty and going to leave because i was sick and i just wanted to hang out but i didnt want to get him sick. IT WAS SO COOL! He was totally like "i dont care! stay and hang out. if i get sick i get sick... thats life!" we started talking about several of the passages that i had been journaling on. He opened his presents and it was AWESOME! Like each of the books he opened like he made a production out of. he got as excited about getting it as i was about giving it. NO ONE EVER DOES THAT! Its not about the money spent. Like i said most of it were books of mine i knew hed like. He actually appreciated the fact that i was putting thought into a gift i knew would be something he would like. AND HE GETS EXCITED!! I never realized how excited of a person i am untill being born again. But i dont know a lot of people who get excited like i do. Its so fun to have a friend who gets excited like i do about the same bible stuff i do! Then we were talking about stuff, and he called me on the fact that my "dating" todd isnt a good thing. something ive kinda known. Its not anything horrible, he just isnt for me. He doesnt really want to spend time with me alot or make me feel good at all. Then he showed me his weapon collection. I didnt realize he was interested in martial arts and stuff too. Then i was getting all high feeling because of my fever, but we were having so much fun i didnt want to leave, so i asked if he had any Ibuprofen. He didnt. He was like " we gotta get you some medicine" i was totally like its no big deal! but he got all serious big brother on me and was like "were going to the store" and i hadnt eaten most of the day, but i was munching on apples. he was like "we need to get you some real food" i went to look in the frozen food and he got Big Brother again and was like "your sick. you need real healthy food." so he bought me some steak and some dayquill. then he told me to get some thing to drink. I usually just drink water anyway. I had some in my car. i told him that. he said "come on, your sick.. get something nice." so i got a bottle of "nicer" water. Then we went back to his house and he made the steak. he showed me how he was matching spices and seasonings and everything. Then we watched a few stupid funny shows and talked some more. IT WAS SO NEAT! He is so nice to me. He actually just enjoys hanging out. Most of my relationships (friendships included) i always feel like i need to be so careful and i dont want to do this or say that or screw that up or someone will be upset. Im so used to trying to keep the peace all the time. Its so awesome to have a friend that its like its just peaceful. All the things i was worried would offend him, totally didnt. i dont have to censor my thoughts or attitudes or anything. He recognizes all the little things i do. I like to do little random nice things. Thats just how i am. I dont think any one has ever noticed before other than my co-workers. I know this sounds like some kinda wonderful romance or something but its different than that. I dont even know how to explain it. Its just like God knew i needed someone to lean on that im not dating or involved with like that. Its just God. There is no other explanation. I am strong spiritually in the areas he is still dealing with, he is strong with the adult knowing how to "do" life issues that I struggle with, as well as the biblical doctrine and logistics and history of the bible. We both have enough screwy relationships in our pasts to know that this is just so much better as just a friend ship. and most importantly.. WE BOTH ARE EARNESTLY SEEKING GODS WILL IN OUR LIVES!! This is a friendship TOTALLY grounded in Christ! I havent had that since walter hoving home. It is helping me learn so much about myself and helping me grow in faith so much. I have been waiting so long for this. I have been pleading for a good christian friend that i can see often (my walter hoving sisters are on different schedules and one lives kinda far) that can help my faith grow. I have been hoping and praying for this for almost 2 years. SUDDENLY God just made it happen. John has been in my bible study for like 7 months or so. Weve talked before. But i never even guessed we would ever be good friends.. much less anything like this. I knew God had told me he would do this. In the story of Elijah. There was a sermon on it a while back. It was right where i was at. Elijah had just called down fire from heaven on mount Carmel! God had just manifested himself in his life powerfully. Then Jezebel said he had to leave by the following day or be killed. He got super discouraged and collapsed under a tree and cried out his pitiful prayer about how he just wanted to die and how he was the only righteous man left and been all depressed about feeling so burdened. Then after God gave him rest and fed him he spoke to him. The Elijah went out in accordance with Gods will and then suddenly God brought Elisha to him. They became so close and God used them to do amazing things. When this message was given i felt so moved that God was telling me to just keep going and trusting him, that i wouldnt be alone. Even with friends and family I still felt alone, because i could not connect with people about Gods word the way that i felt i needed too. My life is so centered on it its hard to connect with the average person. My sister Heather is one of the few i really felt i could connect with on a spiritual level, but she has a busy schedule and often times we dont get to talk a whole lot. I can connect with my mom too, but there is so much other stuff going on with her life and my life that it often keeps things kinda earthly perspective. And there is really something to be said for having a friend out side of the family structure. sometime there are family stresses. and it is hard to deal with my emotions about that stuff objectively when im talking to someone who is in the same thing. And i am really trying to get to a point where i can have my own life totally separate from my family. Like have a good relationship with my family, but have my life be what it needs to be, without their help. But its hard to keep that healthy distance with out other kinds of support. My church has been awesome for that too. I really feel like God has built a spiritual family here for me. I just feel so blessed. I think Jenny might be moving back in. And if i get this Job and everything works out... i could be getting Zeh'en back here really soon!! Im just so excited!!! I know that John also would be totally willing to help me with my budget. He mentioned that he had a friend before that he helped with that and how he enjoyed it. and as im just getting started here i think it could be such a big help. I just thank God so much. The blessings he gives me dont make since. Its hard to even see how these things happen, they just do. I just see his hand in my life so mighty and i am amazed and astounded!!!! Oh Lord that you might use all of the blessings you fill my heart with to overflow in joy into the lives around me that your love may be made complete in our lives. Fill me up Lord, that you may use me to pour your love into the lives of your lost sheep lord, only to be filled again. Thank you Jesus, for giving me a new meaning and purpose. Thank you for choosing to set me free and conform me to your perfect plan. Amen!!!!